I’ve been thinking…how do I write a bestseller?

Warning: I am hot and tired, my Internet is still hinky, but I do have a guy coming out Monday–between the hours of 8:00 am and 5:08 pm. Oh joy… but my point is,  SOMEONE is cranky.

Anyway, I think I should write a blockbuster best-seller.  Good idea right? All I need is an idea…so what sells?

Ha! Diet books! Brilliant! But they’ve been done. So I need a new twist. I know witches! Hence my new book WITCH YOUR WAY SKINNY!

What do you think? I could have a chapter on burning calories with witchcraft. Like:

Finding lost keys 150 calories

Finding lost animal 300 calories

Finding wondering husbands–500 calories

Love spells–400 calories

Evil spells–1200 calories

Making just the right appletinis–priceless!

What do you think? Any suggestions to add?

Have a great weekend!

My Internet was working fine for a few weeks and now it’s hinky as hell.  I called my Internet Service Provider and they are doing a 24 line check.

Whatever. Is it too much to ask for this stuff to work right?

I’m pretty sure it’s the wireless router.  I unplugged that, plugged in my straight DSL and everything came back up.

And you know, I have a book to write.

So I’m feeling evil.  I wanted this draft done by Friday so I could have the entire month of August to revise and polish. Not. Going. To. Happen.

So that’s why I’m feeling evil.  I’m brewing up some Evil Appletinis to go with my mood. Anyone else want to join me?

You know the questions…

Is this guy Wing Slayer Worthy?

Bonus question: Are tool belts sexy?

Last night I went to see my buddy…

Bailey was a little bit put out with me because I made him stop playing long enough to take a picture, but he allowed us this one shot.  Oh yeah, while I was visiting the dog, I also saw my two sons whom Bailey lives with

This is a quick post–my Internet connection has been flaky so I’m going to get this up before it goes out again!

I can’t believe it’s Monday again! So this weekend we saw THE UGLY TRUTH.  I liked it! And not just because Gerald Butler was in it It’s definitely low brow humor, but the remote control scene had me laughing.  If you don’t know what it is, I’m not explaining it!

I finished reading a book that I started off hating. At the half way point I started liking it. Very weird.  Sometimes, it’s worth hanging in there. Now I’ve started the second Harry Dresden book FULL MOON by Jim Butcher.

This really isn’t the best pic, but let’s vote.  Do we like Gerald Butler? Oh, and how was your weekend?

TGIF Witches!  It’s the weekend, let’s whip up the Appletinis! and share cheesy pick up lines.  Why? Because I accidentally stumbled onto a website with cheesy pick up lines. I’ll start:

1) I’m new in town, could you give me directions to your apartment?

2) What’s the name of your perfume, Catch of the Day?

3) Baby you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet!

4) Your daddy must have been a baker, because you got a nice set of buns.

5) Baby if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!

So do you witches have any cheese to share?

Have a great weekend!

The Dear Author website has a poll about how what age people think is the right age to start reading romances.  I started reading ‘racy’ romance about 13 or 14 years old. I was already reading tamer, closed door, romances. Here’s the three thing I think I got from reading those big, sweeping, sexy romances:

1) As a Freshman in high school, tests showed my reading comprehension to be college level.

2) I learned that I deserved love.

3) I leaned it was okay to like sex inside a relationship.

Since I’ve been married to the same man since I was 20, and very happy, I don’t think romances taught me to be promiscuous or whatever it is we’re afraid of.

The polls at Dear Author are often interesting, and this one got me to thinking…how often do we see polls like, “How young is too young to read a murder mystery?” 

I also read Stephen King at 14 or 15. Those books scared me! SALEM’S LOT kept me up several nights straight, and yet, to this day I don’t actually believe in vampires.  When I wake at night and hear noises, I never think it’s a vampire. 

I am a big proponent of parents deciding what their children should be allowed to read.  I thing TWILIGHT or EVERMORE is much more appropriate for a young girl than my books.  

But I read them and they really didn’t shape my attitude toward sex a whole lot. My family, friends  and life experience has a much stronger impact.

What about you?