Jennifer Lyon

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Thursday, February 5th, 2009
Lyon’s Letter to Author

 The prize for this week is the peace, hope and serenity bracelet. As usual, I’ll randomly draw a name from this week’s comments and announce the winner on the weekend.

lioness-with-attitudeDear  Ms. Carlisle,

 

I want your book HOMICIDE IN HARDCOVER and I want it now! I want it even more after seeing your awesome book trailer!

 

So why don’t I go out and get it? I mean it’s out, it came out on Tuesday. Everyone is getting this book, everyone is talking about this book. This book has BUZZ going! People are talking about Brooklyn Wainwright, the skilled surgeon who operates on…wait for it…books! Not people, books! How cute is that?

 

But Brooklyn finds her mentor lying in a pool of his own blood, with just enough breath left to give her a cryptic message along with a priceless, and some would say haunted, book. Of course, Brooklyn is accused of murder and theft, and then…

 

Well I don’t know what happens because I haven’t read the book!

 

Do you know why? It’s all Jen Apodaca’s fault! I told her I want to read that book now, but Apodaca said, “No. We have to wait until February 14th when Kate will be signing at our local RWA chapter meeting.” (Notice how she calls you by your first name—like she knows you! She’s a name dropper!)

 

Being logical and reasonable, I said, “We can buy the book now, read it, and take it to her to sign then!”

 

“No,” Apodaca said in that stupid stern voice of hers. “We have revisions due in two weeks. We can’t read until we’re done!”

 

“But—”

 

“No. If you want to read that book, put down that apple martini and get to work! No HOMICIDE IN HARDCOVER until the revisions are done!”

 

So Ms. Carlisle, what should I do?

 

Sincerely,

Jennifer Lyon

 

Leave a comment with your suggestions and I (not Apodaca!) will draw one name to win an autographed copy of HOMICIDE IN HARDCOVER! That’s right Apodaca I’m buying TWO copies now. TWO. Not one. Next time you won’t make me wait, will you? Never make a Lyon wait, that’s all I’m saying…

Friday, January 23rd, 2009
Lyon’s Lair

Click Here For Contest Info

lioness-with-attitudeJennifer Lyon is the pseudonym for Jennifer Apodaca.  According to Apodaca, Lyon is a cranky cat, addicted to apple martinis and totally lacking in morals and self control.

Lyon appreciates the compliment. And in this section. Lyon will do reviews of books, answer Dear Lyon email, give opinions on things in general, and whatever strikes her cat-fancy.

(Please note, that I realize that I am both these people, Apodaca and Lyon, and referring to myself in third person is twisted.  But all the time spent in the Lyon’s Lair writing about witches and demons takes a toll on a person’s mental health, you know?)

Today,  Lyon is answering e-mail. The first one is brought back by popular demand (originally seen on www.murdershewrites.com) because it’s a new year, and Lyon is hearing disturbing rumblings about–gasp–dieting!

Dear Jen Lyon,

Do you have any diet advice?

Signed: Skinny Wannabe.

Dear SW,
Buy bigger clothes and buy more wine. The more wine you drink, the better you look. Also, I suggest baking cookies, cakes and brownies for all your friends. Get them fat. Then give them wine and they’ll tell you how great you look. Works every time.

Roaringly Yours
Jen Lyon

*     *     *    *

Dear Jen Lyon,

 

I think my mother-in-law might be a witch. What do I do?

 

Thank you,

Scared-of-the-Wicked-Witch

 

 

Dear Scared,

 

Grow up! If you’re mother in law is a witch, you had better get out your book of spells and fight magic with magic. The first order of business to off dust off your cauldron and stir up some witches brew (made with liberal amounts of alcohol) and see if that takes the bristles out of the old bat’s broom.

 

And just cuz I’m feeling generous, I’ll give you another tip. Apple Martinis. Drink them often. Trust me, Apple Martini will make the old witch seem funny not scary.

 

Roaringly yours,

Jen Lyon

If you have a burning question for Jen Lyon, shoot your question in an email to email hidden; JavaScript is required and put Dear Lyon in the subject line. Lyon might answer your question, or she might not.  Just remember this is all in fun, because Lyon loves her snark along with her apple martinis!

Don’t forget–come back this weekend to find out who wins the $20.00 gift card to Barnes and Noble. The winner will be drawn from all this weeks comments. And  find out who is the lucky winner of the book BEDEVILED by Maureen Child! That winner will be drawn from the comments on Maureen’s guest-blog.

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