I want to show you guys the book that FAILED. I loved this book with everything I had, but in the end, this book just wasn’t publishable. It did get some attention,including requests for fulls, two requests for revisions and even a couple editors suggesting other places to send it.
This is from the unpublished book THE LEGEND OF WITCH ISLAND by Jennifer Apodaca. Copyrighted, etc.
Feel free to critique and bash, I wrote this a very long time ago. Or if you want to see more, then I’ll give you more. Speak up!
It is written that there once was an uncharted island ruled by the Witches of the Light. But Evil wanted the island for its own dark purposes. And so the timeless battle ebbed and flowed between good and evil as the years passed. The battle took their beloved king from the witches, and sent his queen wife and prince son fleeing to England. The Witches of the Light persevered, however, waiting. For in their dying king’s last words was recorded the Legend. A Legend that promised their triumph over Evil when the baby prince became a full grown, powerful witch and returned to their island a king. . . .
Princess Sabrina felt a gentle hand on her shoulder as she knelt before the altar. Rising from her prayers, she turned to face the priest.
“You look tired this morning, my lady,” Father Bradford said, his gray eyes wrinkling in concern.
Willing back the memory of her nightmares, she said, “I did not sleep well last night.”
“They are calling you?”
“Their power grows, Father,” she stated flatly. “Time runs short.”
He smiled, making his round face endearingly craggy. “Time is the Lord’s tool, my lady.”
“The king must arrive soon, Father,” Sabrina insisted, then added softly, “if he is to arrive at all.”
Father’s sharp eyes searched her face. “Do you doubt the Legend? Are not the calls of Evil disturbing your sleep, as the Legend foretold?”
“Aye,” Sabrina answered, reaching for an explanation, “but I am just holding on, waiting for a king that I do not even know. Our people deserve better than that. More from me.” Fatigue made her eyes feel gritty. Her patience was thinning with each sleepless night.
His gray eyes took on blue fire. “For eight long years you have ruled well and held this kingdom bound together in the Light. But the true king will return. Our people will not accept him, my lady, if you do not.”
Her patience frayed dangerously. “He is not here now! I will not sit idly by, while the king bides his time before returning to his duty. Witches could die while he waits.”
A brilliant flash burst through the chapel. Lightening streaked in from a window, touching down between the two front pews. The residual aura of white heat rapidly diminished.
Sabrina and Father waited. Lillith, the seer of the kingdom, materialized in the aisle. Her long, light brown hair flowed around her shoulders and brushed the floor where she knelt.
Sabrina’s mouth went dry. Steeling herself, she said, “Rise, Lady Seer, and tell us your tidings.”
Rising with spectral grace, Lillith settled her unnerving gaze on Sabrina. One long arm slid out from the wide cut sleeves of her sky blue gown stamped with icy stars. A rolled scroll appeared in her fist.
Sabrina’s stomach clenched as the seer unrolled the cream colored paper.
“My Lady Princess, the chain of our witches’ history must be broken in order to defeat this Evil we fight. Our returning king cannot die in the coming fight with Evil, as his father did before him.”
Sabrina’s fatigue vanished. Her heart thudded heavily. Duty, she reminded herself. “What prophesy have you?” The demand came out more harshly than she had intended.
A fleeting regret passed over the fine skin of the Lillith’s face just before she dropped her gaze to the scroll. “A death in place of the king’s. That of a powerful witch that holds the heart of a princess.”
“Sweet Merlin.” The shock almost made her forget herself with the need to sit down. Forcing her legs to hold her, she took a death tainted breath. “You are saying that I am to die?”