Someone thought it would be a good idea to let that cranky witch, Jen Lyon, answer letters again. Sigh…
Letter Number One
Dear Lyon,
Where do you keep all those men whose pictures you post on the blog? Just curious!
Sincerely,
Inquiring Libido
Dear Inquiring Libido,
I have my eye on you! I know what you’re after, but better witches than you have tried to steal my men! Okay, sure, Mel and Silver might have conspired to get me a little tipsy and “borrowed” a couple men while I was sipping an appletini or five, but I got them back…eventually.
Wait, what was the question?
Oh, anyway, the men are all kept deep in my Lyon’s Lair where they can’t escape…uh, I mean come to any harm!
Drat, where is that cowboy with my appletini?
Roaringly yours,
Jen Lyon
Letter Number Two
Dear Lyon,
I have a great idea for a book! I’d be willing to split the millions of dollars we’d make on this idea if you write the book. I know we’d make a great team! Let me know when you want to get started!
Sincerely,
Lazy A. Dreamer
Dear Lazy A. Dreamer,
Thank you so much for your letter. I laughed so hard, I coughed up a hairball. Then I had to brew up a batch of appletinis (shaken, not stirred) just to answer this. So draw up a chair and listen carefully: Unless you are famous or infamous, or you have slept with someone famous or infamous, no one is going to pay you millions in publishing.
Maybe you should catch the next broom stick back to reality.
Seriously, where is that cowboy with my appletini!
Roaringly yours,
Jen Lyon
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He’s mixing my margaritas. Tequila body shots anyone? What do you mean it’s only seven a.m.? It’s got to be after noon somewhere… Just sayin’!
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Very cute letters Jen! I would be happy to baby set those men for you anytime!
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Ah, too bad. Darn. I have lots of story ideas and sure could use millions and millions of dollars!
That’d be awesome if it really worked that way! LOL
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Silver, you stole him again? Fine, but I want a body shot too!
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Quilt Lady, I’ll put you on speed dial for babysitting!
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Michele, fortunately, you’re an excellent writer so no worries for you! You have great ideas and the skills to write them
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LMAO! I still have the fireman with the big hose.
He’s feeding me grapes and fanning me with palm fronds. “Ahhh, the good life..”
What if we almost slept with someone famous? SCANDAL! Betyawishyaknew!!
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Oh, Jennifer Lyon, how you make me laugh!! Thank you for publishing my letter. By the way, while you were busy typing your response, I took the key to your Lair.
Whoa, Paolo, is that your fire hose or are you just happy to see me???
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Mel, last I heard, you were wearing out the fireman! Now what’s this “almost slept with someone famous?” You bet your broomstick I wanna know! Like right now!
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Kate, you WHAT? Oh crap, I can’t find the key! I thought I had it on the fireman’s pocket…oh.
Kate, Kate, Kate…be a good witch and give the fireman the key and his pants back. Don’t make me get out my spell book or release the flying monkeys.
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Flying monkeys! *hahahaha* I saw an icon somewhere: “Have flying monkeys. Not afraid to use them.” It cracked me up. I’ve got the limes and salt. Have cowboy, will travel.
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Silver, hmm…I wonder where you saw that icon
Limes, salt, tequila and a cowboy…what more do we need?
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A firefighter and his hose? Just sayin’…
And the icon was probably on Live Journal. I’ll keep my eyes open and snag it when I find it and send it to you.
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Silver…I have a similar icon on THIS post. It’s a witch’s hat with the words, “I have flying Monkeys…don’t make me use them.” But maybe it’s not showing on your computer, or it’s time to put down the tequila now…. Nah, what am I saying? It’s never time to put down the tequila! That’s just crazy talk!
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LOL What a loser! Me. I mean. *headdesk* I KNEW it looked familiar.
Seriously. I swear I saw on on LJ. It was one that “blinked”. Or maybe I was drinking appletinis that day. Or jello shots. Or…not enough caffeine. Or sleep. That cowboy has kept me all tied up.
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Bwhahaha Silver! No worries! These icons are all over the internet! But personally, I think it’s the cowboy distracting you. See what happens when you STEAL men?
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Cowboys???There are cowboys?? Do we have to hack up a hairball to get one, cuz I think I could manage!!
Hey Silver, pour me one of those! Think if we got Kate tipsy enough she wouldn’t notice when WE take the key??
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Appletinis on the house! And my cowboy is serving tequila body shots. That out to do the trick! I’ll distract her, Maureen, you snatch the key!
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Maureen, you make a witch proud with all your plotting of evil deeds! But I’ve already got a spell brewing to get that key back
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Silver, appletinis! YAY! Wait, wasn’t I doing something? Oh who cares, appletinis!
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I HAVE A BOOK!!!! Blood Magic, to be precise. Brown finally came. I know what I’m doing t’night! Double bubble, toil and trouble…Axel is gonna get some!
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My copy is on the way!!!!!!!!!!! I need more appletinis…I know. I’ll drink Silver’s while she’s reading!!! woooooo hoooooo…….
Key? I didn’t see a key?? Psst. distract Lyon, will ya??
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Silver–YAY! I’m so excited you have the book! Please, please don’t hate it!
And hey, Axel’s been waiting for you!
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Maureen, I’m not that easily dis….ohhh! Look at the appletini! Gotta run!
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*winks at Maureen* Jen, there’s a whole pitcher over here! Help yourself while I read, ‘kay?