Jennifer Lyon

Thursday, May 20th, 2010
I’m Mean…

So I Posted Mean Man Jokes!

1) How do men define a “50/50” relationship?

We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

2) How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

3) How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

4) )How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?

All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.

5) How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

ONE……He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

6) What’s the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

7) Why did God create man before woman?

Because you’re always supposed to have a rough draft before creating  your masterpiece.

8 ) Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

12 comments to “I’m Mean…”

  1. Dawn
    May 20th, 2010 at 5:12 am · Link

    Oh, man bashing. I’m in!!! Hehe :)

    And God Created Woman.
    And She was Good.
    And she had two arms, two legs and three breasts.
    And God asked woman what she would like to have changed about herself.
    And she said, “Can you remove this middle breast?”
    So God removed it.
    And it was good.
    And she stood with her third breast in her hand
    And asked God, “Now, what do I do with this useless boob?”
    And so God created man.

    And here’s a link for another one. It’s too long to go in my comment here :)

  2. Cecile
    May 20th, 2010 at 8:53 am · Link

    Oh gosh you girls are killing me!!!! This is hilarious!!!

    I will be checking in from time to time to see what else anyone puts up… I will be in the Lair if you need me for anything!!! Heeeheeee!!!
    It is Tease Me Thursday in the Lair!!!!

  3. Silver James
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:05 am · Link

    MAN JOKES! FTW! Here are a few of my favs:

    What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.

    What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.

    What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.

    Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.


  4. Jen Lyon
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:39 am · Link

    Dawn, LOL! Very good! And I bookmarked the link to the other joke. I’ll be showing Wizard them!

  5. Jen Lyon
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:40 am · Link

    Cecile, I don’t think the hunks in the lair will tell you any good man jokes. Come back here and play with us!

  6. Jen Lyon
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:42 am · Link

    Silver, God did do better! The gifted on always cracks me up too.

  7. Erika
    May 20th, 2010 at 10:07 am · Link

    LOL, you girls are too funny! Thanks for the pick me up. Happy Friday Eve!

  8. Cecile
    May 20th, 2010 at 12:08 pm · Link

    Heee heee… oh Jen… the things they do tell me in the Lair.. Right now it is show and tell.. they are showing me what they can do.. and telling me to keep my **coughs** noises down so you do not hear, lmbo!! I am killing myself!

  9. angelica
    May 20th, 2010 at 4:54 pm · Link

    LMAO u withes are heka funny!!! But all this man bashing makes me think…what has wizard done lol. P.S my friend bobbet sayz “amen about da men”

  10. Jenn
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:45 pm · Link

    Erika, always glad to entertain you!

  11. Jenn
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:45 pm · Link

    Cecile, I turned up my iPod nice and loud, LOL!

  12. Jenn
    May 20th, 2010 at 9:47 pm · Link

    Angelica, Wizard actually hasn’t done anything for a change. He’s been sick with a cold. I’m just naturally cranky–I tell Wizard it’s part of my charm :-)

Comments are closed.