Happy Friday! I’m rerunning this post from 2012 because I noticed I really need a pedicure, and that made me this of this story. Probably because anytime I try to do a pedicure myself–Wizard laughs at me So here it is:
I decided I should give myself a pedicure. Sometimes, I get lucky, and it turns out okay.
This was not one of those nights.
So I go upstairs, do all the pre work, then gather up my stuff and sit on the floor in front of the TV. And I start polishing.
Wizard, and I don’t know how he does it, will sense when I have been rendered a “captive audience.” It’s freaky how finely tuned this sense of this is. He had been out in his garage for a while, not bothering me. But once I have polish on and can’t move until it dries?
Wizard appears in the room. “What are you doing, Witch?”
I narrow my eyes and say, “I’m mixing chemicals that will kill you. Run while you can.”
He’s not the least bit worried. He tilts his head. “Why don’t you just go get a pedicure?”
“Shut up.” I can soooo do this. I can. Really. I used to decorate cakes, damn it. Okay not professionally, but still, I wasn’t embarrassed by my cakes. I can do this!
Wizard totally ignores my outburst and goes on, “Are you making yourself pretty?” Then he starts walking around the room singing “Prettyyyy Girrllls” in the creepiest Wizard voice possible.
I cave in and do the worst possible thing. I laugh. I can’t help it. Wizard is so not creepy, and when he does that voice, it sends me into fits of giggles every freaking time.
But then he starts to leave, and I sigh in relief. He’s done and I can have some peace.
And then he spots this:
It’s sitting on my upstairs desk. I have no clue what it is–but Biker Witch gave it to me. Probably because she’s in cohoots with Wizard to DRIVE ME INSANE.
Well Wizard’s face lit up when he sees this. He picks it up, them LOOMS over me. “Say, Whoo Hoo.”
“No. Leave me alone. I want to watch TV.”
“You have to say Woo Hoo. Then I throw this to you. That’s the game, I saw it on a TV show.”
I swear to you I Am Not Making This Up. I can’t get up and escape because…hello, wet toes. Dark grape polish. Light carpet. I am trapped.
So I say Woo Hoo. And he throws that weird ass thing at me. I catch it before it attacks me.
Then he stands there sing-songing Woo Hoo! And won’t leave until I throw it back.
I seriously had to play this game while trapped on the floor with wet toes until he was done torturing me.
Finally, he puts the stupid ass thing down and said, “Fork out the money for a pedicure you cheap witch,” and leaves, laughing all the way down the stairs. Why? Why does this amuse him so much?And he’s wrong, because I can so do a pedicure if I try!
So finally my toes dry, I go downstairs and he’s like totally NORMAL for awhile. Then I look at my toes. Damn it. I stomp upstairs totally pissed because my toes aren’t right at all and I take off the stupid polish.
I’ll probably pay for a pedicure as soon as I’m done sulking. I can’t even blame Wizard, he didn’t touch my toes. He’s totally responsible for making me insane, but not the poor polish job. Heck, he didn’t even say “I told you so.”
If you actually made it through this story–all true because yes, we are that boring–have a great weekend everyone!
April 15th, 2016 at 7:03 am · Link
I don’t remember reading this at all. ROFL… you guys are a hoot. And so totally not boring.
I’ve never had a pedicure. I haven’t even painted my toenails since high school. I don’t think I even can anymore. Oh, I can reach the right foot pretty good, but that stupid left leg barely bends well enough to let me trim my nails. If I tried to actually put polish on? :shudder: And if I can’t find someone around here to cut my hair without butchering it, there’s no way I’d let them to touch my feet. ;o)
April 15th, 2016 at 9:38 am · Link
I get a pedicure once a year–right before Nationals. LOL
I remember the spiky ball thingy and Wiz tormenting you, but I’d totally forgotten the pedi-part. LOLOL
Have a great weekend!
April 15th, 2016 at 11:22 am · Link
B.E., That night I was ready to smack him…but I was laughing too. So frustrating, LOL.
Youngest son has limited range of motion with his leg, so I understand what you mean about that. I never did this until more recently in my life. Partly because I pretty much hate shoes (so does my RA) and I’m barefoot or in sandals a lot.
Have a great weekend!
April 15th, 2016 at 11:24 am · Link
Silver, you always look fantastic at Nationals But it’s a pain to go do it pedicures. Once in a while I’ll do a manicure but I usually don’t bother since all the typing, cooking and dishes ruins them anyway.
That purple spiky things is a stress ball…but of course, Wizard used it to cause me stress
Have a great weekend!
April 15th, 2016 at 2:28 pm · Link
I don’t remember this post either but as usual you and Wizard crack me up. He’s really too much fun!
I don’t get pedicures either. I paint my own toes (fuchsia) but summer only. My workouts have kind of destroyed the look of my feet and toes and I’d be embarrassed to have someone work on them :(.
I have a purple stress ball too but mine lights up and blinks when I throw it. The cat loves it.
The weekend should be great here. The temps are going to be in the lower 70’s and sunny. Haven’t seen weather like that in a long time. Remember last Sat. we had 4 1/2 inches of snow ;).
Have a great weekend.
April 15th, 2016 at 5:05 pm · Link
Viki, wow you have a gorgeous weekend on tap! And you guys deserve it. Last weekend sounded brutal!
LOL on the cat loving the stress ball! Bailey ignored mine because it didn’t squeak.
Enjoy your weekend!