Jennifer Lyon

Friday, July 28th, 2017
Jen Does Yoga!

Yesterday I decided that I’m sick of waiting for some miracle cure for my bad shoulder and neck to take a Yoga class. I just got up and decided to go.  Mind you I can do forty minutes on the elliptical machine and still walk afterward. I do stretches and balancing at home. And every one in the freaking universe tells me Yoga is awesome! It’s the nectar of life, the brain food of geniuses, the reason to live! Yoga cures stress and writer’s block all at once! Plus its low impact! There’s no downside.

I told Wizard all this.

He’s like… “I think they’re talking about normal people.”

I whipped around. “What does that mean?”

He threw up his hands. “Nothing. Go. You’ll be awesome. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Yeah, that’s what I thought he said. So I go to the Yoga class at my gym. It’s a big room with laminated wood floors and WAY too many mirrors. But there’s only about 10 people in the class so plenty of space. This should be pretty easy, right?

15 minutes into Yoga I was sweating buckets and slipping on my mat. I looked up into the wall of mirrors noticed my hair had frizzed and my tongue was hanging out like this:

Actual picture of Jen in Yoga

But I wasn’t giving up. There were people in there who were decades older than me!

30 minutes later I pushed up to a contorted hip twist with an extra shot of try this sucker…and my foot slipped on the mat. But I caught myself.

Whew! That was close.

One second later I felt a pop. Right in…I kid you not…my butt muscle.

Ummm…oops?  My right side, where my butt meets my thigh, sent out a rays of stinging pain in all directions. Then I did a real “tree pose,” the kind where I crashed to the ground on my side. The instructor saw me, but I pushed up to sit on my knees like I was fine. I sat there for a second, looking at the door and thinking two things:




All the while the gentle strains of mind control muscle kept playing, and the human pretzels kept flowing into different physically impossible contortions. And all of a sudden, I asked myself, “Are you really giving up because you pulled a muscle? Seriously?  Oh hell no.”

I finished that Yoga class. I did every freaking pose, modifying for the fact that I’d just discovered a new butt muscle. And no lie, after the class the instructor made a point of telling me how good I did.

BHAHAHAHA!!! I think she felt sorry for me.

After that, I  went home, sat my butt down on one bag of ice and had another ice pack over my shoulder. While downing ibuprofen with coffee, I described the torture to Wizard in slow and excruciating detail, each and every moment.

Then Wizard said, “So you’re done now, right? You’re not going back to Yoga next week?”

“What?” I gaped at him, confused. Whatever gave him the idea I’d give up?

This is a true story, and this is how I also write my books. I make mistakes, get lost, fall down, but I throw some ice on the pain and keep writing.

Happy Friday all! Hope you have a great weekend!

P.S. I really hope I can get out of bed today :-)

8 comments to “Jen Does Yoga!”

  1. B.E. Sanderson
    July 28th, 2017 at 6:52 am · Link

    :shakes head: :laughs: :shakes head more: I can’t say anything. I do enough stuff I probably shouldn’t be doing that I have no room to talk. I try to never do more than I think my body can handle. Sometimes I’m wrong, but it’s not fatal. Painful, but not fatal. Last night after spending the morning fishing in the rain, my back was killing me. This morning, it’s better. Tomorrow, I’ll probably be out fishing again.

    I hope it’s not too painful for you this morning. :hugs: And if it works for you, enjoy your yoga. It’s not my bag, but then again, standing on a bank for 3 hours in the rain watching a bobber probably isn’t most people’s bag. ;o)

    I have a self-imposed deadline rapidly approaching. I want to have this book first drafted before the edits for Wish Hits the Fan arrive – Monday. I’m only just now beginning the mini-climax, then there’s the real climax, then the denouement. Umm, yah, not gonna be done by Monday night, but I’ll give it the old college try.

    Have a great weekend, Jenn!

  2. Marianne
    July 28th, 2017 at 9:42 am · Link


  3. Jenn
    July 28th, 2017 at 10:58 am · Link

    B.E., it’s not that bad actually. I’d say normal muscle sore. My shoulder sucks, but that’s going to suck until we get a treatment plan going. I’m find out more on Monday.

    I can’t stand for three hours. It kills my ankles, so you’re right, to each his own!

    Good luck on your self imposed deadline! Just keep typing and get as far you can.

    Have a great weekend!

  4. Jenn
    July 28th, 2017 at 10:59 am · Link

    Marianne, at least I was able to get out of bed this morning :-)

  5. herding cats
    July 28th, 2017 at 11:35 am · Link

    LOL so you’re done now, right? Bwahaha I’m a yoga fail-ee (yeah not a word but you know) lol One and done here. Hope the sore bits are feeling better today. lol

  6. Jenn
    July 28th, 2017 at 12:54 pm · Link

    Anna, I’m doing pretty good today, thanks! I was totally thinking “one and done” half way through that class :-)

  7. Viki S.
    July 28th, 2017 at 3:37 pm · Link

    I could picture myself in your shoes so easily. I have no flexibility and yoga would be such a fail. I hope you’re feeling better today. It really stinks when you just keep adding injuries on top of injuries. Raises hand :(. Must say Wizard is very funny.

    Hubs did a Wizard last night and I was SO impressed. After dinner I looked in the freezer for the tiny bit of frozen custard I didn’t give him two nights before and was going to eat it. Yes, it was gone. He ate it :evil: . I told him he was a piggie wiggie. He says I’ll go out and buy more right now. I told him not to bother but he did anyway. Boy was I happy :-D .

    Have a great weekend and try not to stub a toe ;).

  8. Jenn
    July 28th, 2017 at 5:04 pm · Link

    Viki, I really try to stretch and be flexible, but I’m not. I really liked the challenge, but dang, it was hard.

    You’re hubs did good!! What a great story! We need that sometimes.

    Hope you have a good weekend too!

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