Jennifer Lyon

Tuesday, October 11th, 2011
One Witch’s Confession…

When I uploaded the pictures from my camera after my local chapter birthday bash weekend and showed Wizard, he was struck my one particular picture.

Let’s call that picture Self Portrait of a Twit. And I’m staring in the pic.

Wizard said, “Uh, what’s this one? I know you didn’t wear that top at the Birthday Bash Mini Conference.”

“Crap,”  I said.  “I thought I deleted those.”

Wizard gets that stupid magic-eating grin of his. “Missed one, did you?”

“Shut up.”

He crosses his arms, trying to looking intimidating.  “Fess up, Witch.”

I went with the tried and true method of blaming someone else. “Remember when you screwed up taking the picture of me wearing my new jeans?”

“Like I’d forget that. You pouted for an hour.”

“Hey! I don’t pout. I contemplate.”

“Whatever, do you have a point or are just blaming me because you did something that’s going to make me laugh?”

He knows me so well. “Fine, I tried to take my own picture of my jeans…while I was wearing them.”

Wizard shifted his gaze to the picture on the computer. And as embarrassing as this is, here’s what he saw:

Then, naturally, he burst out laughing.

Then he doubled over laughing harder.

Yeah, I wasn’t even close to my jeans.  And that doesn’t even look like me, or I don’t think it does. And sadly? This wasn’t even the worst attempt.  In my defense, I’m pretty sure I was in huge procrastination mode.  I’ve been known to take pictures of lizards when I’m trying to avoid work.

Dying of embarrassment I said, “I thought I deleted them all!”

When he was able to stand up straight, he hugged me and said, “I like the picture…” he said other stuff I’m editing because…he’s just weird.

Anything YOU want to confess? Or am I the only one who does these inexplicably stupid things when I’m procrastinating?



10 comments to “One Witch’s Confession…”

  1. Viki S.
    October 11th, 2011 at 2:29 am · Link

    That’s funny. I can’t think of anything to confess at the moment. As they day progresses I’m sure I’ll have something pop up and I’ll come back to share. I don’t want you out here all alone :).

  2. Shiloh
    October 11th, 2011 at 6:16 am · Link

    I do a lot of stupid things, but while nothing comes to mind I’ll tell You about the texts from my mom this morning. She lives in an apartment and around 10 PM everynight, without fail, this guy turns on his music really loud. My mom calls him the boom boom guy. So its 1AM and the boom boom guy is still going strong with whatever he’s doing. My mom lives about e him and is totally stressed out. So she decides to go to the gas station to buy milk, eggs, and krispy Kreme donuts. She is in her cartoon design Pajama bottoms, flip-flops, and tank top. She gets in her purse to pay and out flops her lovely black bra she forgot to put on before going in! :mrgreen: At this point she’s embarrassed, the poor guy at the register is red faced as can be, so she rushes out forgetting to pay, taking her stuff with her. She decided she’ll go back around noonish when she’s not likely to see the guy to pay for the items.

  3. Silver James
    October 11th, 2011 at 10:03 am · Link

    Whoah, witch! You look like one kick-@$$ urban fantasy heroine in that pic. Look at that biceps and the glare. Dang! Run bad nasties, run!

    Stupid stuff? Me? Never! I’m pleading the fifth. Amendment, witches! What were you thinking? Now…who hid the pitcher of appletinis? ;)

  4. Jen Lyon
    October 11th, 2011 at 11:12 am · Link

    Viki, oh please, come back and save me with a story :-)

  5. Jen Lyon
    October 11th, 2011 at 11:14 am · Link

    Shiloh, your poor Mom! On the upside, she did get her Krispy Kreme donuts, and I bet she needed those when she got home–with an Irish coffee chaser!

  6. Jen Lyon
    October 11th, 2011 at 11:16 am · Link

    Silver, uh, are we looking at the same pic? I just…forget it, I don’t even like looking :-) And I can’t believe I tell these stories.

    Ha! And I know you have stories! We shall ply you with appletinis and get you to spill!

  7. Viki S.
    October 11th, 2011 at 2:14 pm · Link

    Well, I did it. Doesn’t surprise me either.
    I was making stew a little bit ago and the phone rang. While flapping my jaw I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing and added 5 spice instead of Herbs of Provence. In my defense they’re in the same type of bottle. I had been digging it out for about 25 minutes and finally said heck with it. Maybe hubs will like Chinese beef stew :oops:
    Also, while on the phone with the hubs I told him I had to get going I still had to mow the carpet. Guess he needs to vacuum the lawn :wink:

  8. Jenn
    October 11th, 2011 at 3:38 pm · Link

    Viki, I’ve done similar things while on the phone and cooking. I once forgot to add flour to banana bread that way. But at least I’m not alone, let us know how your stew turns out!

    I’m going to tell Wizard to vacuum the lawn :-)

  9. B.E Sanderson
    October 12th, 2011 at 6:48 am · Link

    I know I’m late, but I’m with Silver. You look like a kick-ass urban fantasy chick. Like you took the pic of yourself just before you went out to battle a pack of rabid werewolves.

    I’ve done tons of stupid things, Jen. So many that I can’t pick one out of the crowd to share. For the record, though, I don’t think taking pics of yourself is stupid. Missing the jeans? Karma got you on Wizard’s behalf. ;o)

  10. Jen Lyon
    October 12th, 2011 at 12:14 pm · Link

    B.E., I think Wizard has Karma on his payroll :-)

    LOL on me as an urban fantasy chick! I’ve got to tell Wizard that one. And unless the rabid werewolves are stranding in line at Starbucks, I think they are safe from me.

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