Jennifer Lyon

Monday, September 9th, 2019
Weekend Roundup

Good weekend! Saturday was Turbo day. I went to watch him in swim lessons, which is really cute. Turbo is in a small group of toddler beginners, and it’s all about making them comfortable in water with little games they play with one of their parents. It’s all under the watchful eye of a coach, and there’s no pressure on the kids, which in my view, is perfect. Water safety is a process that truly takes years.

Once we arrived home, Maggie showed me a game she likes to call, “Lizard Cardio.”

I am not amused by this game.

It began when we arrived home, and I took Maggie outside, because foolish human that I am, I thought after six hours, she’d need a bathroom break. Maggie had other ideas and promptly caught a big, black, scaly lizard. Then she proudly showed me this creature twitching in her smiling mouth.

I responded rationally by jumping up and down and yelling, “Drop it! Maggie! Drop it! I mean Leave it! Maggie!”

**FYI, Wizard heard all this, and ignored it. He was unloading the car, and had thought Maggie brought a lizard in the house. He did not come rescue me or the house, but stayed in the garage, hiding. Later, he admitted this and laughed at me. Some hero he is. NOT. **

Anyhow, at my shrill screams, Maggie dropped the creature. The lizard just laid there on it’s back, as if begging for CPR. Um, no. I looked at Maggie and said in one lower octave than ear-splitting panic, “Leave it” and “stay.”  So she just casually stood here, totally chill and watching me. I turned away to grab a bucket to cover the lizard until I could get Maggie in the house, and then dispose of it. But the damn darn bucket was covered in spider webs. EWWWW! Now I added wild arm gyrations to get the webs off me to this game of Lizard Cardio. Finally I picked up the damn darn bucket and turned.

The lizard was gone.

I glared at Maggie.

She looked back with wide, innocent brown eyes. She didn’t appear to have moved. So I chose to believe the lizard had been playing dead and escaped. It was probably under the trash can but I wasn’t about to look. I gingerly, and with only two fingers, held the bucket out and dropped it back into the web infestation so as not to get tangled in that disgusting, sticky mess again. Done with all creatures, I stomped into the house.

Maggie stayed out to stare at the trash can where she believed the lizard to be. Or she had eaten the thing in one swallow and was just trying to convince me she hadn’t. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care at that point. I was done. So in the house, I washed my hands of all the gross things, and strode to the fridge to get out a Diet Coke because I NEED CAFFEINE AND A NEW LIFE.  Obviously.

I started to open the bottle when I felt something with multiple tiny legs crawling on my shoulder. I look down and SPIDER!!

Another round of frantic Lizard Cardio ensued. For the record, I HATE THIS GAME!

Anyway, long story short, I have a lizard-hunting dog for sale. Any takers? No? Sigh…yeah, I know, I promised to love and care for her despite her dogness. This lizard thing our my fault, we let it happen and she now thinks it’s her job to guard the outside perimeter from lizards. And seriously, having a job keeps busy and well-adjusted. She doesn’t bark, show anxiety, chew up any other stuff or cause any trouble. She’s just a happy girl who enjoys her dubious hobby of lizard hunting. I sure didn’t know she’d good she’d get at catching the critters!

Sunday was fine. I had a French toast mishap that totally irritated me, but I’m tough and didn’t let it ruin my day :-) After that Wizard went racing and I worked on my book. Ideas are sprouting like an uncontrollable forest fire, and I’m running around with a tiny extinguisher desperately trying to get control. But so far I haven’t encountered a single lizard or spider in the story so I’m perfectly happy fighting this firestorm of a story.

That was my weekend, how was yours?

6 comments to “Weekend Roundup”

  1. B.E. Sanderson
    September 9th, 2019 at 5:15 am · Link

    Yay for Turbo Time! And for getting to finally watch one of his swim lessons! Oh, silly Maggie. Or maybe that’s ‘silly Mommy’. ;o) I, too, do the spider-web flail, but I run into them so often on my walks, it’s not a full scale flail anymore. Ack that you actually had a spider on you! I’ve been lucky so far. :fingers crossed: Okay, now I need to know about the French Toast Mishap. Yay for ideas, even if they are causing fires. :hugs:

    I had a long and wandering talk with myself over the weekend, got positive and then got to work. Managed to get pages written and I’m moving ahead. Not sure where I’m going, but at least I’m moving, so it’s a win. Other than that, it was cleaning and reading. No walking because it’s too damn hot. I’m supposed to have jury duty on Wednesday. Fingers crossed that when I call Tuesday night, it’s cancelled. I so don’t need the disruption in my life right now.

  2. Silver James
    September 9th, 2019 at 10:01 am · Link

    Turbo Time rocks! And Lizard Cardio is good exercise. Just sayin’… Yay for ideas! Wish I had some. 🤔

    Saturday was pancakes, siren test, and Mexican food. Stormy was being something of a pain, but he’s 5. He’s enjoying kindergarden and his speech and communication skills are improving. Food was good and it’s always good to see the kids. LG and I came home and both of us napped. Which was good considering Sunday pretty much sucked.

    Only got my print covers done for NIGHT FIRE and NIGHT FALL but for some reason, Amazon doesn’t like me. It won’t let me submit for final. 🤦 I’m stalling on contacting them because my head is in a terrible technophobia place right now, which means my temper is on the knife edge. Anyway. It’s Monday. All freaking day.

    Other than that, life is just peachy. 🤣

  3. Viki S.
    September 9th, 2019 at 2:41 pm · Link

    Those sound like great swim lessons. I wish they had been like that when my boys were little. They were so afraid of the water until they were about 10-12. It was all due to early swim lessons :(. So happy you were able to watch Turbo having fun and learning to be safe in the water.

    Oh my heaven! I have to feel for Maggie though. She really is doing what she thinks is best in protecting her humans and her home. Bailey liked to chase the lizards but I don’t remember him eating them, right?

    It’s nice the Wizard admitted that he was hiding from the lizard/spider cardio mess. By the way it was fun, at 3 am, picturing you doing lizard cardio. I could see your arms swinging and feet moving.

    My gas meter was switched out today and the generator goes in tomorrow pending no mishaps. Keeping my fingers crossed.

    Have a fantastic lizard cardio free day ;).

  4. Jenn
    September 9th, 2019 at 4:52 pm · Link

    B.E., I run into spider webs on my walks too, and am always brushing them off. This year has seemed pretty bad for bugs over all here, and maybe where you are too. Maggie was just being Maggie, I’m the one that should have reacted better. A calm “leave it” would have done the trick, but I was caught by surprise and over-reacted. She was calm the whole time :-)

    French toast story is boring, but basically it was a soggy fail due to my forgetting I froze the French bread I use while it was still very fresh, and therefore absorbed too much batter too quickly. Normally I freeze it when its stale to use for bread crumbs or French Toast. Told you it was borning, LOL!

    Your talk to yourself must have been motivating! That’s good news that you’re getting pages done. We just have to trust that the story will come together.

    Jury Duty almost always comes for me at inconvenient times. I hope you can get off for this round, and then hopefully it will be better timing when you’re called again.

    Happy Monday!

  5. Jenn
    September 9th, 2019 at 5:00 pm · Link

    Silver, I wish we could call up ideas instantly when we want them! Hope you get the ones you need soon.

    Yay for siren test, pancakes and Mexican food with family. It’s almost hard to image in Stormy in Kindergarten! His world is quickly growing and expanding now. I bet you and LG had earned your naps after doing all that on Saturday!

    Amazon is being weird all over, I think. I’ve heard some grumblings, and I’m having unusual non-writer issues just tracking orders I have with them. I’m wondering if their computer system is glitching? But yay on the cover being done! Boo on what I think might be tech-fatigue? My temper frays on that stuff very quickly.

    Definitely being a nonstop Monday here too. I hope you were able to resolve the cover issue and that your week improves dramatically!

  6. Jenn
    September 9th, 2019 at 5:10 pm · Link

    Viki, I’m with you on swim lessons. I remember the brilliant idea of our time that babies would learn to swim if you put them in–and under–the water. I refused to put my kids in that, and took them to swim lessons when they were older. Turbo’s lessons are really much more realistic. He loves the water, but isn’t ready to go under a lot and that’s fine. I feel terrible for you and the boys enduring the kind of early swim lessons that left them afraid. You aren’t alone though, it was pretty common then :-(

    It turns out Maggie didn’t eat the lizard–it was under the trashcan. Wizard found it. I don’t think she does eat them, but it was so freaky the way the lizard was there, I look away and back, and it’s gone. Bailey did the same type of thing. And I agree, Maggie is just doing what she thinks is her job. It’s really been good for her, but not much fun for the lizards.

    Wizard and I both admit it, or even brag, when we avoid a situation and let the other hand it, LOL!

    Glad visions of me acting like a lunatic amused you at 3am. I am sometimes awake then, but I’m not up like you.

    Fingers crossed all goes well with getting the new generator in, and that everything comes back online the way it should. It’s been a long haul for between the driveway and generator, but you’re almost done!

    Hope your week is off to a good start!

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