Jennifer Lyon

Wednesday, July 14th, 2021
Sometimes Silence is Golden Rant

Did anyone else see Valerie Bertinelli’s post about a comment telling her she’s fat?  If you haven’t, hopefully this is the correct link to it. Now I’ll state the obvious–people can be jerks. And when they are hiding behind a computer and posting on social media, some turn into pure puss-spewing, waste of skin trolls who cause damaging emotional pain.

Sure, I know the old sayings, “Sticks and stone will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

That’s a lie. Words do hurt. As writers, we know this better than most, I think. Sometimes, we need to just shut up. In Valerie Bertinelli’s case, the commenter didn’t need to say anything. There was no reason to say that Valerie is fat. It was mean. It was meant to be mean.

I really think we all needed to learn that sometimes Silence Is Golden. Not everyone needs to know our opinion. We need to stop and think before we blurt out every danged thought that crosses our mind. And we don’t need to tear others down to make ourselves look stronger, smarter and/or more popular. Twitter wars are a great example of that.

I’m betting every single one of us has a story about someone saying something to us that hurt. That dug in so deep, it’s a wound that won’t heal. I’ve had it happen to me. No matter how mentally strong we are, words still can and do hurt.

Okay that’s my rant. Feel free to add your thoughts.

4 comments to “Sometimes Silence is Golden Rant”

  1. B.E. Sanderson
    July 14th, 2021 at 6:57 am · Link

    I saw that and watched the video. I felt so bad for Valerie. She looks damn good, especially for 61, and the chick who called her fat needs to shut her mouth. People should keep their nastiness to themselves.

    But people should also stop worrying so much about what random strangers say. Like my mom always said ‘consider the source’. If the person has no value in your life, then their opinions shouldn’t matter to you. I know… easier said than done… but it does work. I also know in Valerie’s case, she is in the public eye and has been almost all her life, and she has to worry to some extent what people think of her. But I wish she could get to a point where some troll’s opinion doesn’t make her cry. Find a way to laugh it off. “I’m fat? Well, you’re stupid and you can’t fix stupid.” or something equally snarky.


  2. Silver James
    July 14th, 2021 at 7:48 am · Link

    I didn’t see it and I probably won’t because there’s enough going on in the world that gets my dander up at the moment and I’m trying to stay focused on the things I CAN control and stupid people out in the world isn’t one of them. One of my favorite memes states: Even duct tape can’t fix stupid…but it can muffle the sound.

    Trolls are idiots. And I don’t mean the fairy tale ones. Those trolls can be kinda cool, given the right circumstances. The internet trolls are anonymous @$$h0l3$ who set out to hurt people in order to get their 30 seconds of fame and/or to make themselves feel important are pitiful excuses of the human race. Sadly, I’ve seen some big names engage in trolling. Its a major reason I’m no longer a member of RWA.

    Anyway, you get to rant and there’s a reason SILENCE IS GOLDEN is a societal rule! I just wish more people would practice it, along with the Golden Rule. If we’re lucky, Karma will wade in and whap those jerks over the head with the GR and unleash some “well, this is what you did to others so you get a big ol’ steaming pile of it heaped back on you.”

    Happy Wednesday. I have to go to Wallyworld. And then there are Wolves who need words. And personally, I think Valerie is a beautiful woman and totally a class act.

  3. Jennifer Lyon Apodaca
    July 14th, 2021 at 7:12 pm · Link

    B.E., I caught Valerie’s post, and my heart ached for her. You and your mom are so right on “consider the source,” but you can feel this is her tender spot. The one she’s struggled with her whole life (she says) and I felt for her. Sometimes, words hit their mark no matter how much armor we have.

    But it’s better all around if we can ignore the trolls. They are seeking moments of attention for their cruelty, so your mom is ultimately right.

  4. Jennifer L Apodacayon
    July 14th, 2021 at 7:47 pm · Link

    Silver, I hear you, I’m barely on social media for a lot of those reasons. And I really should talk about my reasons for leaving RWA at some point. It’s was just sad.

    For the record, I enjoy watching Valerie on the kid’s baking show she does. She seems to enjoy it. I hope she can ignore the ugly comments and live her life.

    I hope you had a good day at Wallyworld and wrangling wolves!

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