Jennifer Lyon


Wednesday, September 22nd, 2021
The Dress Delimma

I ordered another dress.  My third dress for the wedding in the November.

When exactly did I become high maintenance? Also, when I forget how to spell maintenance? I kept trying to spell it maintainous, and spell check decided I was High Mountainous.

I think spell check was calling me fat.

Back to the dress. Part of the problem is my high mountainous figure :-)  But it’s also the new way of life. We just can’t go to stores and try stuff on because there’s so little actual stock in stores these days. So I end up guessing on sizes and going through the endless process of ordering, waiting until it arrive to try it on and then returning. That didn’t use to be a problem back in the days when I was consistently one size…until the last few years when my mountainous regions expanded and/or resettled in disturbing ways. So…

Dress #1 was way too tight around my top mountainous region.

Dress #2 was too long and slightly baggy around the middle, but it did cover the top mountainous range. I figured no big deal, I’d have it tailored until I realized the hem was scalloped lace–and that I was going to spend a lot of $$ getting that dress altered than it was worth. That dress is going back.

I ordered dress number 3 yesterday, still in the bigger size but I’m holding onto hope that the new dress will drape all my mountainous regions in a way that I can live with.

And so it seems that I have become both high maintenance and high mountainous.

When all I really want is a damn dress that doesn’t make me look like a mountain.

Happy Wednesday!

6 comments to “The Dress Delimma”

  1. Marianne
    September 22nd, 2021 at 8:29 am · Link

    High mountainous regions. This should come with a spew warning!



  2. Silver James
    September 22nd, 2021 at 10:06 am · Link

    I totally agree with Marianne. I no longer have a plastic cover on my keyboard!

    I hate buying clothes. Anyway. A size that fits in one brand is totally either too big or too tight in a different brand.

    I keep thinking I should clean all the clothes I don’t wear out of my closet because–well, reasons. Mostly being that I haven’t bought a new “fancy” outfit in like 5 years (or longer) but then I remember that I might have to dress like a grown-up one of these days so I keep them. They’re mostly “classic” styles and I’m old so what does it matter? Also, since elephant bell bottoms are coming back in style, all that old crap hanging in my closet has to be next, right? Right!!!

    Anyway, I do feel your mountains of pain–both body-wise and spellcheck-wise. Autocorrect is an instrument of the devil. Just sayin’…

    Here’s hoping “third time’s the charm!” I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Remind me one of these days to tell the tale of my misadventures with FedEx. Maybe I’ll remember for Friday Five. ;)

    Happy Hump Day!



  3. Viki S.
    September 22nd, 2021 at 3:20 pm · Link

    I am so sorry the dress buying has been such an ordeal. I do miss going in to shops and actually seeing clothes in person and trying them on. I have my hopes up that this third attempt is the winner.

    Have a great afternoon!



  4. Jenn
    September 22nd, 2021 at 5:54 pm · Link

    Marianne, LOL! Sorry for not adding in the correct warning :-)



  5. Jenn
    September 22nd, 2021 at 5:58 pm · Link

    Silver, oops, sorry :-) I really had no idea what I was going to write, then the spell check snafu happened and I went with it.

    Exactly on brands. Much as I hate shopping, it helped to be able to at least try on a few sizes in brands so I knew what worked.

    I LOVE staples. I’ve been slowly buying some of those. And I need to clean out my closet too, so I feel you there.

    Looking forward to your misadventures with FedEx!



  6. Jenn
    September 22nd, 2021 at 6:02 pm · Link

    Viki, thanks. The good news is I’m not at all stressed. It’s my niece’s wedding so while it’s important to be there and see her married, what I’m wearing won’t make any difference. I would just “like” a nicer dress but I can wear the one I wore to the shower and no one would care.

    Hope your mom is doing as well as possible in her recovery and dealing with her grief. I imagine it’s tough on you worrying about her.



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