I wanted to share a story. Before Wizard and I got married, we were required by his church to go through their version of pre-martial counseling. What that turned out to be was several evenings with an older, and presumably successfully married, couple.
We were assigned a couple named Bill and Maureen.
At the time I was barely 20 and Wizard was 28. We knew everything already, of course. But we respectfully humored our “elders.” Over six weeks, Bill and Maureen graciously hosted us in their home and led us in discussions. They taught that a successful marriage was built on The Three C’s, which were communicate, communicate, communicate.
Wizard and I “graduated,” and while we truly liked them and found them quite interesting, we didn’t think we really needed any guidance. And yet, those “lessons” stuck with us over decades of our marriage. No matter how good or bad things got, we always remembered The Three C’s. We also kept in touch with Bill and Maureen, occassionally visiting them. Every year we’d get a Christmas card from them with updates about whatever adventure they’d had that year. They had a largish family, traveled when they could and seemed genuine in every way possible.
As each year passed, Wizard and I came to respect their advice, and appreciate their efforts with us, all the more. Without even realizing it, we were trying to follow their example.
Then the day before our anniversary this last weekend, we were both sitting in the garage on a break when I got a phone call. It was Bill and Maureen’s daughter sharing with us that her parents had passed away. I told their daughter how much of an impact they’d had on our lives, and she told me something truly startling: After 65 years of marriage, one of her parents passed, and one day later, the other passed. They hadn’t been sick at all.
And now they are together in eternity.
So when Wizard and I went to dinner to celebrate our anniversary, our waiter asked us the secret to a long marriage. Wizard and I looked at one another and answered, “Communicate, communicate, communicate.”
Then we raised our water glasses in a toast of gratitude to Bill and Maureen.
November 9th, 2022 at 6:52 am · Link
Yep, the three Cs are very important. So is ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. I’m also a fan of ‘do you want to be right or do you want to be married?’ LOL
I’m sorry you lost friends that were important to your story. :hugs: But they had a long and happy life together, and they are together forever now. I’m so happy for you and Wizard to have the loves of your lives for so many years past and years to come.
November 9th, 2022 at 8:45 am · Link
I’m not crying. What a joyous life they shared and to go “together” was a blessing. The three Cs are definitely a must. The advice LG and I got–in addition to that–is that someone always has to be the grown-up and marriages last longer when the couple takes turns. It’s also a big plus if you’re friends as wellas lovers. We’ll celebrate 40 next August so we’re about a year behind y’all. I was 30, he was 23.
One last note about that… My dad said that I was being smart marrying a younger man because women tend to live longer. He also said that out of all the boys and men I’d dated, LG was the only one he would want for a friend even if the two of us were no longer together.
Happy Anniversary again, condolences but happy memories of your “mentors” and
November 9th, 2022 at 3:19 pm · Link
That is so sweet and excellent advice. You passed along this sage advice to the server which I hope they take to heart.
I am very sorry to hear that you lost these wonderful members of your life. I do think it is a true God-instance that they left this life within a day of one another. Guess God had plans to keep them together always :).
It’s our anniversary today and we are off to dinner in a little bit. We’re going early so that we can enjoy the falls and so Spunk’s dinner isn’t too off schedule. You know those fur-babies and their meal times :).
Sure hope you are having a wonderful day!
November 9th, 2022 at 4:39 pm · Link
B.E, all true! These sayings last the test of time because there’s real value to them
Thank you. It’s sad they are gone (especially for their family) but it’s so much easier when we know they made valuable contributions to so many lives.
November 9th, 2022 at 4:44 pm · Link
Silver, that is so true about someone being the grown up and taking turns.
LOL your dad sounds like a great guy! which makes me see how you were able to choose LG for your husband. That part about your dad saying that LG is the only one he could be friends with is touching and also significant. You and Wizard can bond over marrying a younger spouse, too
It’s nice to hear other people’s mentor stories too. It’s easy these days to forget how many good and caring people are out there.
November 9th, 2022 at 4:52 pm · Link
Viki, Happy Anniversary!! I hope you and your husband have a lovely time tonight! And still get home in time to feed Spunk before he’s too upset Pets run our lives, LOL. But we love them!
Our server was a nice guy who seemed genuinely interested, but who knows.
I’d like to think it was a plan to keep them together. Especially in a world filled with too many tragedies, it’s refreshing to something touching like their lives.
Again Happy Anniversary!!
November 9th, 2022 at 7:03 pm · Link
Happy Anniversary, Viki!