Howdy and TGIF! Okay let’s dive right into sharing five things about our week. Here’s mine:

1. I went shopping and had lunch with Biker Witch (my sister) yesterday. We had a good time, she’s doing well after her major back surgery two months ago, and that makes me very happy.
2. Here’s my shopping find that I splurged a whole $5.00 plus tax for: He’s perfect for one of the two bare spots on my mantle that need a little color.  I love my elephant!
3. Wizard and I ran errands separately the other day and ended up coming home at the exact same time. When we came in the house, Maggie was acting a little weird, staying excited longer than usual and trying to get us to pay attention to her. We’re like, “Dude, chill out.” Then Wizard went outside, talked to a neighbor and discovered that there was a 4.0 earthquaker centered right in our town–which means it felt pretty danged strong. Wizard and I didn’t feel it because we were both driving when it happened. We both sincerely believe that Maggie had been trying to tell us that something happened while we were gone.
4. CPA Boy and Special K are having a housewarming party this Sunday. I’d asked Special K what I could do to help and she suggested I bring a dessert, like lemon bars. I’m thrilled to do it, and of course, I figured if one dessert is good, then I should make two so people have a choice. That’s completely logical, right? I’ve decided to make lemon bars and Twix bars, which I ran by Special K to make sure it works for her. I even ordered a special brownie pan with removable dividers that looks like this: I’m weirdly excited about this pan, LOL! I’m hoping that if I use enough bakers spray, I can get the Twix bars with its caramel center to cut nicely. I really want uniform bars that look nice.
5. I already told Wizard that if the bars don’t come out right, I’ll toss them in the trash. I have to say that Wizard’s loud snort of laughter was just rude, and very hypocritical since he’s much more of a perfectionist than I am. Also, the fact that I bought the ingredients for my backup dessert of easy red velvet brownies just in case something goes wrong is completely normal, and not at all like a perfectionist :-).  I really have been having a great time planning this, buying all the ingredients, and am looking forward to a baking marathon on Saturday. I very pleased Special K asked me to do it. And all teasing aside, if for some reason the lemon and/or Twix bars don’t come out and I run out of time to make my backup dessert, I’d just stop at the store on the way and buy cookies or brownies. It’s taken me a couple of decades, but I have finally learned life is too short to get truly upset over stuff like a failed batch or two of desserts.

So that’s my week and weekend. Now I’d love to hear five random things about your week! Everyone have a great weekend!

Hi guys, it’s me, Maggie!

I’m here to set the record straight. On Monday my mom told a story…and guys…she made it sound like I’m some sort of crazed lizard killer-plus-eater. That’s totally an exaggeration. I mean, yeah, I’m super good at playing hide-and-seek and chase with my lizard friends. And I catch them in my mouth because I don’t have any thumbs or hands, so duh, how else would I catch them? But I don’t eat them.

That’s why I’m here to show you all the real story that I’m a really good girl. A picture is worth a thousand words, right? This is me on my special mat where I wait while mom or Wizard-dad makes my dinner.

And sometimes, when they don’t remember how to tell time, I sit on the mat to remind them that it’s time for dinner.

Now would a crazed lizard killer-plus-eater do that? And notice that my mom didn’t post any pictures, so clearly, I’m giving you a much more accurate story, am I right?

Thanks for letting me set the record straight!

Good weekend! Saturday was Turbo day. I went to watch him in swim lessons, which is really cute. Turbo is in a small group of toddler beginners, and it’s all about making them comfortable in water with little games they play with one of their parents. It’s all under the watchful eye of a coach, and there’s no pressure on the kids, which in my view, is perfect. Water safety is a process that truly takes years.

Once we arrived home, Maggie showed me a game she likes to call, “Lizard Cardio.”

I am not amused by this game.

It began when we arrived home, and I took Maggie outside, because foolish human that I am, I thought after six hours, she’d need a bathroom break. Maggie had other ideas and promptly caught a big, black, scaly lizard. Then she proudly showed me this creature twitching in her smiling mouth.

I responded rationally by jumping up and down and yelling, “Drop it! Maggie! Drop it! I mean Leave it! Maggie!”

**FYI, Wizard heard all this, and ignored it. He was unloading the car, and had thought Maggie brought a lizard in the house. He did not come rescue me or the house, but stayed in the garage, hiding. Later, he admitted this and laughed at me. Some hero he is. NOT. **

Anyhow, at my shrill screams, Maggie dropped the creature. The lizard just laid there on it’s back, as if begging for CPR. Um, no. I looked at Maggie and said in one lower octave than ear-splitting panic, “Leave it” and “stay.”  So she just casually stood here, totally chill and watching me. I turned away to grab a bucket to cover the lizard until I could get Maggie in the house, and then dispose of it. But the damn darn bucket was covered in spider webs. EWWWW! Now I added wild arm gyrations to get the webs off me to this game of Lizard Cardio. Finally I picked up the damn darn bucket and turned.

The lizard was gone.

I glared at Maggie.

She looked back with wide, innocent brown eyes. She didn’t appear to have moved. So I chose to believe the lizard had been playing dead and escaped. It was probably under the trash can but I wasn’t about to look. I gingerly, and with only two fingers, held the bucket out and dropped it back into the web infestation so as not to get tangled in that disgusting, sticky mess again. Done with all creatures, I stomped into the house.

Maggie stayed out to stare at the trash can where she believed the lizard to be. Or she had eaten the thing in one swallow and was just trying to convince me she hadn’t. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care at that point. I was done. So in the house, I washed my hands of all the gross things, and strode to the fridge to get out a Diet Coke because I NEED CAFFEINE AND A NEW LIFE.  Obviously.

I started to open the bottle when I felt something with multiple tiny legs crawling on my shoulder. I look down and SPIDER!!

Another round of frantic Lizard Cardio ensued. For the record, I HATE THIS GAME!

Anyway, long story short, I have a lizard-hunting dog for sale. Any takers? No? Sigh…yeah, I know, I promised to love and care for her despite her dogness. This lizard thing our my fault, we let it happen and she now thinks it’s her job to guard the outside perimeter from lizards. And seriously, having a job keeps busy and well-adjusted. She doesn’t bark, show anxiety, chew up any other stuff or cause any trouble. She’s just a happy girl who enjoys her dubious hobby of lizard hunting. I sure didn’t know she’d good she’d get at catching the critters!

Sunday was fine. I had a French toast mishap that totally irritated me, but I’m tough and didn’t let it ruin my day After that Wizard went racing and I worked on my book. Ideas are sprouting like an uncontrollable forest fire, and I’m running around with a tiny extinguisher desperately trying to get control. But so far I haven’t encountered a single lizard or spider in the story so I’m perfectly happy fighting this firestorm of a story.

That was my weekend, how was yours?

To all the people dealing with hurricane, I hope you’re safe! It’s been awful, and I’m worried. Also, we have a dangerous fire (possibly started by lightning) in the next city that is threatening homes and lives. Natural Disasters need to stop! Human’s create enough misery with nature flexing her frightening power.

Okay let’s jump right into my five random things about my week:

1. This week, I’ve been trying to clean the house by myself, hoping to wean off the once-a-month house cleaners. But my shoulder and neck are not happy. We will see if my stubborn pride or common sense wins. Right now, I’m rooting for my stubborn pride, LOL
2. I’ve wanted to go to Costco for years but i’m too cheap to pay the $60.00 membership fee. I resent paying a retailer for the privilege of spending my money in their store. Hmm…I’m starting to see a pattern of cheapness.
3. Heat and humidity suck. But on the upside, Wizard bought me a chocolate bar.
4. I am writing a little this week. Still revising before pushing onto writing second half of book. My biggest advice to writers, and the advice I wish I’d freaking learn write a crappy first draft straight through no matter how bad it is. My perfectionist side is a mouthy, annoying, editorializing and demeaning  bitch who won’t shut the hell up and let me write. And she ruins books. Truly. Also, she has a potty mouth
5. This weekend, I’m finally going to see my grandson, Turbo, at swimming lessons! I’ve wanted to do this for weeks, so I’m happy. Wizard is planning to go too, unless one of the other kids needs him. Wizard is in demand these days!

That’s my five random things, now I’d love to hear yours! Everyone, please stay safe and have a good weekend!

Happy Hump Day!

We had a great trip with Middle Son and his lovely wife to Paso Robles, and came home with 7 bottles of nice wines. That’s a LOT for us. We had 8, but opened a Malbec to share with Middle and Wife on Saturday night. Beautiful Chef–that would be Middle’s Wife, and only one of her many talents–prepared a meal of tri tip steak, potatoes and salad in their trailer, so we brought the wine and homemade chocolate chip cookies. The meal was delicious! Here’s the four us at one of our favorite wineries, Calcareous:

It’s truly a stunning place, but to get there requires travel on a treacherous mountain-type road with no guard rails. I park Middle Son in the passenger seat, with Wizard driving (he was our DD, and severely limited his tasting to very specific wines he was interested in buying). I’m better in the backseat talking to Middle’s wife as looking down gives me vertigo. We went to four wineries in all, three were great, and one wasn’t to our taste.

And I got to play with Middle Son’s two dogs, Jett and Hazel! They are both great dogs, fulfilling my big dog fix without any of the work I admire how very committed the two of them are to making sure Jett and Hazel, who are power breeds, are raised to be gentle and trained.

We got home just in time to pick Maggie up from boarding on Sunday. When I got there, she was hanging out with a little girl (the daughter on of the ladies who worked there) who looked to be around 7 or 8. Maggie was just walking around with her and the other small dogs, totally content–at least until she saw me. When the girl realized I was taking Maggie home, she told me how sweet she was which was wonderful to hear. I was thrilled that Maggie seems to be doing ok there, and got to hang out with a girl she clearly adored. As usual, once Maggie was home, she went seamlessly back into her routine, which tells me she’s not unduly stressed. She was tired, but that’s typical.

Now we’re back to life as usual. And gearing up for Youngest’s wedding in November.

So that was my weekend plus days off from the blog. How was yours?

This week was a blur for me, what about you all? Here’s five random things about my week:

1. It’s our wine tasting weekend with Middle Son, his wife and 2 dogs!
2. We took Maggie to boarding yesterday. Despite knowing she’s been there many times and always does fine, we still feel bad for leaving her. But as soon as I took Maggie through the gate and unleashed her in the dog area, she just walked off with her human friend. Um…I’m happy?? Ok seriously, Wizard and I are relieved and pleased when she does this at boarding. It’d be a lot harder if she cried when we left her. This way, we know she feel comfortable.
3. Yesterday was Youngest Son’s fiance, Vet Tech’s, birthday! We went over last night to give her gift, which is sooo nice now that they live ten minutes away.  She’s having a big year between buying a house, having a milestone birthday and getting married!
4. Over two weeks ago, I ordered shoes from Reebok to replace the shoes I use for walking Maggie. I’ve worn out two pairs since I’ve had her, LOL! But this time, Reebok tripped over their own feet or something. A week after I ordered, they sent me an email that the shipment was delayed. Then it took me a week of hounding them to get the truth–they couldn’t find the shoes they’d advertised on their website in their warehouse, and finally, they just cancelled the order. I was frustrated–not at the problem itself because that stuff happens–but because the way they handled it was not customer friendly. However, I found some shoes on Amazon, ordered them, and had them in 2 days for the same price so it worked out okay. All that said, 95% to 98% of the time, name brand companies deliver on their website promises, or if there is a problem, they find a way to make it right.
5. Monday is Labor Day in the U.S.! I’m wishing all of you a Happy Labor Day now, as I’m not sure I’ll have a chance to post on Monday. I’ll be back on Wednesday for sure!

And that’s my five random things. Now I’d love to hear your five even though I may not be able to answer. But I can definitely read your answers!

Have a great (and safe!) weekend!

Yep, I’m just being real today about who I am So here’s some randomly selected things I don’t understand:

1. Why people want to raise kids again midlife. Been there, done that, have the stretch marks and gray hair, thank you very much.
2. Wanting to retire and then open a Bed and Breakfast. Um…so you want to work harder after retirement; cooking and cleaning up after people in your home?
3. People buying bogus Emotional Support Dog certificates online to get their dogs (or whatever) on airplanes, or take their animal where they want to, disregarding rules, as well as other people’s comfort and safety. I’m 100% supportive of true, properly trained, service dogs and think they should be allowed everywhere as the ADA dictates. In fact, I’m a little obsessed with service dogs, and love watching YouTube videos featuring them. Well-trained Emotional Support Dogs and Therapy Dogs are important and valuable too, but they are not service dogs and have more limited access. Service dogs often have years of training, and are working to do things like guide a blind person, hear for a deaf person, alert for a diabetic, epileptic, and many other jobs. These dogs make the world more accessible to disabled people. The rest of the world, in my very opinionated view, should respect and applaud that, and not try to grab the perks these amazing working animals receive so they can do their jobs. **Okay, hang on a sec while I get a ladder to climb down off my soap box.**
4. People who always have their cell phones on speaker in public places. To me, it’s just odd, but I tend to like my conversations to be private, I guess.
5. Man Buns. Enough said, LOL!

Okay those are some of mine, now it’s your turn if you’d like to share some of yours!